2016 is the 27th anniversary of my NOT publishing my book. To celebrate, I will attempt to receive funding through KICKSTARTER in the summer of 2018. It's going to be a three-part project: 1.) The book, which is currently at 93,058 words, (about 300+ pages) with approximately 400 words to go to be completed. 2.) There will be a bulletin board at the beginning of each chapter. The board will have a pair of dog tags hanging down past the boarder with the chapter # embedded in the tag. The cork-board will contain art; photos, drawings, poetry, and other items that will pertain to each particular chapter. (See photo Gallery) 3.) There will be a download of what I call "Nam Noise." I recorded sounds from many sources and will incorporate them into the news and music of the day. I currently have permission to use Fixen' To Die Rag by Country Joe and the Fish and Fortunate Son by CCR. If you have a request from that era let me know on the contact page. Stay tuned for more details and thanks in advance for any support. Tom
Following is my life after the Army, until the present, as presented after the last chapter of the book............SNAFU - My Vietnam Vacation - 1969
OK, now it’s time to wrap things up with some self-serving info and a bunch of name dropping. This is where I switch to third person and bore you with what I’ve been doing since 1969. Stop here if you aren’t into yada, yada, yada.
Tom was honorably discharged (yes, that’s right, he never got caught) from active service on 11/14/1969 and entered the BFA program at East Carolina University, in Greenville NC.
In 1971 ECU tripled the tuition for out of state students, (those bastards!) The taxpayers provided the paltry sum of $179 a month to cover tuition, books, art supplies, rent, food, gas, insurance, clothes, whips, chains, leather underwear…and ahhh, other necessary stuff. The money that Tom made as a figure drawing model (shudder, shudder) barely paid for breakfast. So, Tom looked for a job that he could hold down for six months in order to become a resident of North Carolina and then attend ECU as a bone-a-fide Pirate. He was informed that the owner of a defunct upstairs nightclub wanted to reopen. All they needed was a qualified manager. That would be Tom. He convinced the owner that knowing what beer tasted like and Rock N Roll sounded like was all that one needed to know to run a bar. The owner then convinced Tom that he should accept being paid a percentage of profits as compensation; after all, he knew what beer tasted like and what Rock N Roll sounded like, so how could he loose?
The ATTIC opened its doors on September 7th, 1971. On January 7th, 1972 Tom was handed his W-2. The gross wages were just that, coming in at $728.40. Not discouraged, (OK he was totally bummed), Tom decided to give it one more semester. Eighteen years, 2,188,268 customers (give or take a dozen), 36,510 T-shirts, 3,708 performances by live bands, 520 comedian performances, 4 major Footsball Tournaments, 1 nationally televised concert on NBC by the Pointer Sisters, 1 cover of Performance Magazine, and hundreds of diverse concerts (OK, here’s the first batch of name dropping) from The Byrds to The Ramones, Greg Allman to Tim Weisberg, Wendy O Williams to Nicolette Larson and Bill Hicks to Steve Harvey. In 1988 Tom and partner Stewart Campbell turned over the Attics keys to manager Joe Tronto who continued the diversity with the best in music and comedy from Dave Matthews to Maynard Ferguson, Phish to The Blowfish and Jeff Foxworthy to Tommy Chong. In 1997 The Attic was chosen by Playboy magazine as one of the top 100 college nightclubs in the country.
In July of 1988 Tom with wife Nancy (who said ‘I do’ in 1974 and has been saying ‘What was I thinking,’ ever since) and their family, Tracy (10), Adam (8), Seniah (6) (the last a Golden Retriever, not an oddly named child) packed up the U- Haul (or whatever truck company that will pay to have their name mentioned here for the next printing of this book) and headed to Charlotte. Tom joined Creative Entertainment, the headquarters for the Comedy Zone chain of comedy clubs and settled into a work schedule of 28 hours per day (those bastards.) From 1988 to 1996. He and booking partner Jeff Chester booked more comedians than any other two people on earth. He became part owner of the Comedy Zone Comedy Club in Charlotte featuring such names as (OK, round two of name dropping) Jerry Seinfeld, Dennis Miller, Ritch Shydner, Chris Rock, Bill Maher, and Ellen DeGeneres. In the mid 90’s he was on the management team for Carrot Top and the co-manager for Rodney Carrington, and wrote comedy for many touring comedians. In 1997 he decided the stress of booking comedians (those bastards) was more than he wanted to deal with, so Nancy and he formed an ad specialty company called Stand Up Stuff. Tom sold T-shirts and other marketing products to comedians while Nancy (the company president) serviced the corporate community. East Carolina University called Tom in May of 2015 and said that the university would like to ARCHIVE the Attic. Seriously, a major university wanted to archive a rock n' roll nightclub. And, it goes without saying, Tom said, YES!
We now bring you to the present. While continuing to provide comedians with their marketing items and teaching stand-up comedy, Tom is currently looking for a number of individuals or one very wealthy person to offer him grant money to pursue a number of art projects. What he has in mind is to---Hey, where are you going---he just wants a few minutes of your time to explain---no, really, he just---hey don’t close this book, this will only take a few short minutes---hey---hey---shit!
NOTE: Due to my exposure to Agent Orange I attained a "new status" in January 2016---100% Permanetly Disabled Vietnam Veteran. I am not expecting my newly attained medical issues to interfere with the progress of this project, but I've opened up a new account with God and am now accepting all prayers and positive thoughts. Thanks for reading.
NOTE #2: OK, I was wrong, my medical issues have interfered with the start of my Kickstarter Project. The new date will be set in stone and will take place in the summer of 2018. Thanks for your understanding.
SNAFU - My Vietnam Vacation - 1969
Launch date 3/tba/2017 Exact date will be decided on 2/28/17 Thanks in advance for your support. Tom
Tom "Skinner" Haines was born in Danville, VA on April 25, 1945. He grew up in Endicott, NY (home of IBM), graduated from Gannon College (University) in Erie, PA, in 1967 with a BS in Marketing. Tom received his diploma in one hand and his draft notice in the other. He beat them to the punch by enlisting in the US Army; activated on January 28, 1968. The book, SNAFU - My Vietnam Vacation -1969 is the story of his time in the US Army. Below is what his life was about after his release from the service on November 14, 1969, (WITH A FEW WORDS ABOUT KICKSTARTER IN-BETWEEN.)